I left you sleeping, I couldn't bear to stay any longer, I knew my tears would wake you and I didn't want that. I don't know what I expected; perhaps that somehow, in these six days the sky would fall and we could stay together. The sky is still in one piece and I find myself trying to fool myself into believing that those moments of happiness are worth the tears and the pain. Again, we saw it coming and we went head-first into oblivion. It's like looking for pearls in a bucket of oil. I sometimes wish I had chickened out when I saw you, run away home and never thought of you again. And yet, as I saw you sleeping (or maybe pretending you were asleep, I haven't figured you out yet) glowing in the light of that lava lamp, I knew we had achieved perfection....and now it's over. Now, I fall from such great heights, and I bring you down with me when you never asked to come along for the trip...
Every attempt to rationalize the situation is blown to smithereens when I think of you, when I remember your eyes, your smile and your touch. Even you tell me there will be others: 'mejores, seguro; peores, seguro' and, that being said, I'm still terrified by the thought that in ten years I'll look back only to realize you were the best thing I ever had. Sure you can argue that I'm young and foolish, that my romanticized vision of the world distorts reality completely and that I should move on, period.
Everyone around me tells me that this will be a great change, that I am following my dreams. Now, as I'm two hours away from getting on a plane which will take me to the rest of my life, I question everything. It's the first step I take on my own and I'm scared shitless. The thought of looking back in the future and realizing it was all wrong.....sometimes I do think the road not taken does make 'all the difference'.
Anyway, don't listen to me...after all, I'm just foolishly romantic. Soon enough the political pragmatism we are all programmed for will kick in and I will do 'what you have to'. Even so, I'd appreciate it if we could see things clearly for what they are. Why are we fed so much bullshit (forgive my french) about romance and fairytales if we don't pursue those dreams. I understand siding either with love or pragmatism, but why sell one when we know we will eventually be forced to choose the other?
God you looked beautiful...sweet dreams.
-------------------------
James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
No comments:
Post a Comment